Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Airing the Mental Laundry

*the following post is not aimed at any particular person...just a gathering of thoughts that have been brewing in my head for some time*

I'm pretty opinionated.

Shocker, I know.

Most of the time, i try to keep my opinions to myself, b/c i don't like to offend people...or it just gets me too riled up...

you know, things like parenting choices, politics, education...the biggies.

But why do we get so passionate/riled up/testy/ornery/in-your-face about those things which are subject to so much gray area...

for example, i think everyone should love Jesus...but me arguing with them or berating them, etc... isn't going to get them to love Jesus.  and i don't think arguing and berating count as "planting seeds"...it goes back to the whole "how we live our lives" yadda yadda.

then, there's politics.

you know, i grew up thinking that you couldn't be a christian and be democrat...b/c, you know, democrats are heathens... but the older i get, and the more i think about things, the less inclined i am to either party...and the more inclined i am to wonder why christians are republicans/tea partiers... i mean, i get both sides of the coin - not b/c i'm wishy washy, but b/c i see value in both arguments... but when I think about Jesus, it seems (and brace yourselves here) that he might have *gasp* been more of a socialist.

how did capitalism/consumerism get tied together with christianity?

in case you're wondering, i don't actually want answers or to debate this...just typing this riles me up :)  in fact, may i respectfully ask that you not comment on this particular post. i'm just airing my mental laundry.

then we get into parenting stuff. i'll say it. i'm a firm "believer" in vaccines. i think most people who know me already know this. i actually feel pretty strongly for a variety of reasons about children getting vaccinated. and if you know me, you probably already know why. i'll spare another diatribe.

does that mean that i vilify those who don't vaccinate? of course not. if different people who are all educated arrive at different conclusions, then we have to allow ourselves room for the gray area. we don't need to vilify the other side in order to justify our own choices. i'm sure the people i know (and there are several) who don't vaccinate have equally valid and well thought out reasons.

maybe i just spend too much time reading things and getting riled up. "it's my way or else!" "you're stupid for thinking that way just b/c i don't agree or understand your side!" etc...

i didn't use cloth diapers with the 1st kid  b/c my friends berated me into it...i did it b/c it seemed like a good choice. i didn't get medals or special commendations from my granola friends for doing so...nor did they all abandon me when i didn't use cloth diapers with my 2nd kid.

so it cuts both ways.

and i guess if you're going to try to educate people about your point of view (on whatever topic it may be), it's a good idea to be educated about it...and it's also a good idea when the other people tell you they're not interested in it (for whatever reason) to give them the space to make their own choices...and not to go away from it secretly thinking "well, obviously that person is a complete and utter moron for not agreeing with my position or research that i've done on the internet about topic x"...and rather instead think "well, that was a nice visit, i've learned some things from my friend with whom i don't agree on everything with, and clearly we're both educated people who have arrived at different conclusions, so maybe everything isn't so black and white"

and i think that's what i like about my close friends (you know who you are) - we vary widely in many of our political or parental choices/beliefs (although we all love Jesus), and not once have i ever felt condemnation from any of them for making different choices...and i try (and hopefully succeed) to not show condemnation towards choices they make that are different...but rather to enjoy the exchange of ideas in the safe space of a healthy relationship.

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